Category Archives: Love & Support

Thank You, Stuart Scott

I watched this speech when I was going through a particularly rough patch in my fight with MS. Every few months, it seemed that there was some new symptom, a new challenge on my plate. I’d get over being sad and start the fight against symptom A and appeared to come to a place of relative normalcy when symptom B would come along and knock me on my ass.

I needed to hear these words.

I’ve spent much of my time with this diagnosis in a cycle of sad and depressed vs. hopeful and optimistic. In April, in a moment of deep sadness and depressed, I, for the first time in 9 years, I cut myself out of feeling sad and overwhelmed. I was mourning the loss of some crucial functions that I used to cope when I was depressed or sad, like driving. I drove all across this country in 2008, my car was my freedom, and that was taken from me. I missed driving for escape, I miss reading books.

I sometimes play this to remind me to put my game face on, stop feeling sorry for myself, and remind me that it’s ok to cry.

“Live… live… fight like hell. and when you get too tired to fight, lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you. I can’t do this ‘don’t give up thing’ all by myself.”

Thank you, Stuart Scott, for inspiring me to fight like hell and teaching me that it’s ok to call on the people who love you when you simply need to cry. Even after watching this, it took me a while to feel comfortable enough to let my guard down and share what I was/have been/am going through with people. But, at every turn, the people I’ve shared with have been tremendously supportive, caring, and loving in their response.

His words kept me going when I felt like giving up the fight.

Thank you for your life. RIP, Stuart Scott.

So Emotional

I didn’t tell people what I had because I thought I’d be perceived as weak or be judged… for something I developed through no fault of my own. Typing that makes me realize how ridiculous that thought is. I honestly didn’t think I mattered. I come from a family that believes the whole “Don’t tell your problems to people: eighty percent don’t care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them.”

I care, sometimes too much for people, so I don’t believe that’s true.

I’m feeling so incredibly fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. 2015 is going to be a good one.

Thank you to all who care for me and contributed to my health care fund. I can never thank you enough.