In July 2007, I attended Camp Obama in Burbank, California. There, I met one of the most important people in my life. He was a trainer at the ‘camp’ and recited a poem called “To Be of Use” by Marge Piercy. That poem stuck with me all these years.
“…And what can be more special than that there is no boundary. And there should be no boundary to human endeavor. We are all different. However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at.” a Stephen Hawking quote from “The Theory of Everything” opened my eyes.
After 26 months of living and struggling with the symptoms of MS (first being unable to walk to my mailbox before my legs stopped working, chronic fatigue syndrome, being declared legally blind) and how it’s affected my thoughts on my value/worth to society, I realize that I can still be of use… I just gotta figure out how to be of service.
My self woth/self-esteem has been tied into what I can do for others. The last 6 months has been an exercise in turning that energy inwards. I promised myself one year of self-focused care on June 26, 2015, I will complete that one year. I hope to have a better understanding of who I am and what I want in my life and how I can be of use.